if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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