Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
