found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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