And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
