"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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