i may or may not be watching the land before time
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize