come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
