whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
