That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
