I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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