How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
