I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
