I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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