The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
