I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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