i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
