Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im holly from the hills drunk
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
two words...techno handjob
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
