I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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