Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
