How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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