I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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