I hate all girls vehemently.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
