Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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