ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
