Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
