yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
