Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
