no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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