he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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