So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
