how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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