New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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