Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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