I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
