I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I want to be your penis for a week.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
