So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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