Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
