well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She's the barista slut.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
