too bad you live with your parents still
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
