so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize