If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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