dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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