I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
