I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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