bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize