erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
