once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize