Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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