Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
