Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
