i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i drank out of a bidet.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize