the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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