Your face is a jimmy john
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
