The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
