Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
