i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
birth control should be required to get into college
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
