You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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