maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
