Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
