well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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