is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
