Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
