Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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