i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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