Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
