at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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