what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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