you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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